Sunday, April 17, 2011


I made a mistake in grade 10... I was stupid, I thought it made sense, I wanted to feel loved, I wanted to feel worthy, no, I'm not talking about sex. I just wanted someone to accept me for who I was, to not have to live a life where I felt useless. That mistake still follows me, he wont leave me alone. I knew it was a mistake the second it was over. I spent days, months, trying to figure out why I did it. How stupid was I, just wanting some love. It tore me apart for a while, I felt even worse, more unloved, more useless. Where could I turn, who could I tell, no one understood why I did it... I turned to God, where else was there to go, I begged for forgiveness. Eventually I realized that I needed to let it go, because I was already forgiven. I let it go a long time ago, yet here he is, still bothering e for one little mistake. I am better then that. I will not go down that path again. He can get over it, I am who I am and I wont strive for love where there is none. There are people out there who love me, who actually care about me. I will not make that mistake again.

I'm better then that
I'm smarter then that
I'm more worthy then that
and God LOVES ME.
and that's all I need.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. First of all I have the wrong name/address up (I am working at my church - so that is the Treefort Ministry thing)'s me Nelia :)

    Lauren - you are so right - you are so loved and are worth so much more!

    Have you heard the lyrics to You Are More - by Tenth Avenue North? Here is part of it...

    You are more than the choices that you've made,
    You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
    You are more than the problems you create,
    You've been remade.

    'Cause this is not about what you've done,
    But what's been done for you.
    This is not about where you've been,
    But where your brokenness brings you to

    This is not about what you feel,
    But what He felt to forgive you,
    And what He felt to make you loved.

    Lauren - I hope you always know that you are loved and forgiven. HE loves you and so do we.