Sunday, March 6, 2011

Welcome Back to Reality

I got a kick in the butt the other day. I don't know if she meant to or not, but it worked. I told her how I'd been feeling lately. I told her how I felt out of place everywhere, and wasn't feeling it at church anymore. I've felt helpless, I've prayed and prayed and felt nothing. She told me that there was nothing she could do, and I needed to put effort in and really dedicate myself. At first my mind went, she doesn't know! She's just trying to push me off, not taking me seriously. Then... I made myself think about it. She cares about me, she's my friend. She wouldn't say ANYTHING to hurt me, ever. So I realized she was right. I needed that nudge, to remind me what I needed to do.
I need to work on my relationship with God. I need to focus 100% on Him. I've been praying, and going to church, but my heart hasn't been into it. I need to give over my whole heart and soul. I need to give Him everything I've got, all the pain, all the happiness, all the troubles. I've got to start with me. I've got to change my heart, I've got to stop focusing on the bad, and stop getting so down on myself. It's going to take a lot of work... but I'm not alone. I have God, and I have friends, who love me, even when they aren't with me.

"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.
I've called your name. You're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place,
it won't be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That's how much you mean to me!
That's how much I love you!
I'd sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you."

Isaiah 43:1-8 (the message translation)